“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” — Viktor Frankl

Have you ever thought about how wonderful it is to witness people going from strength to strength and improving their lives? We witness them chipping away at healing their wounds and overcoming obstacles; we see them continue to move forward. We witness the growth that comes with time, practice and patience.

And we recognise that we’re actually pretty amazingly resilient healing machines. 

Suddenly, I am reminded of a series of old television adverts for Timex watches (and when I say “old,” I mean the dinosaurs were watching). Their slogan was “We take a licking and keep on ticking.”

It’s been something of a motto for me, I suppose. Or at least, it’s simply a truth about my decades on this planet.

People react to stressors in a variety of ways. Some seem to sail through extreme challenges while others crumble with fairly minor setbacks. 

What is it that makes the difference? 

Well, there’s no simple answer to that. Personality plays a part in it. Some people are generally more easygoing than others, right from childhood. There are those little kids who never seem to get wound up, and others who come unglued over the littlest things.

So we’ve got a predisposition to cope well — or not — right from when we come out of the chute, so to speak.

Then you throw in learning and experience. What did you witness in your family? What was modelled for you by parents, siblings, extended family, teachers, or others who had an impact on your formative years? 

What have you learned from your own lived experience? Have you been through a long list of challenging events? Has the universe been hurling challenges at you over and over again? Have you been finding ways to cope with them through counselling, or support from groups or friends?

Or have you just slammed the door on all of that and muddled through somehow, despite feeling completely overwhelmed?

People who have seen a lot of adversity may have developed some coping skills that those with less difficult lives haven’t needed to use. It’s the kind of practice no one wants, but whether we like it or not, some of us get anyway.

Whether or not your challenges are significant by the standards of someone else is irrelevant. Yours is the only opinion that matters. If they feel overwhelming to you, that is completely valid. You’re the only one who has to live in your shoes or deal with your experiences. 

So what do you do when you feel like you’re being swallowed by your troubles? How do you cope when you feel like the Universe has dumped one too many boulders on top of you?

I’ve certainly spent some time in those terrible places, sometimes bouncing back quickly, other times not so fast. I’ll bet you can relate to all of that, too.

It’s always hardest when the only light you see at the end of the tunnel is that proverbial train coming at you.

There have been times when my usual tricks haven’t worked. When it got really bad, I mean really, really bad, I’d look down the road ahead and couldn’t see anything positive. I couldn’t find a glimmer of hope.

I couldn’t even see a reason to hope. And that’s a terrible place to be.

There were a couple of awful periods in my life when I reached that place and couldn’t see a point in being here anymore. It was too much of a struggle and there was no end in sight.

It’s not often that I’ve been in that place — thank heaven. But at least I’ve managed to hang on long enough to pull myself out of it.

And I did it by insisting I’d find a way.

How do you find strength?

When looking ahead doesn’t help, and in fact, makes everything feel worse, I look at the path behind me. I remind myself of what I’ve been through in the past. I look at the traumatic and terrifying times, or the extreme financial struggle, or the life-threatening health issues.

I can look back through my entire life and see decades of challenges and obstacles lying there behind me, events I thought I’d never survive, struggles I thought would never end.

But here I am. I did survive, and those troubles did end. 

So now when Life throws difficulties in my path, I remind myself of that. I look at what I’ve overcome. I remember that I didn’t believe I could have done “this or that” — but then I did it, and a whole lot more.

Have you ever lost your car keys or that all-important pile of documents you needed first thing in the morning? You knew they were there somewhere, buried under a pile of “stuff” or stashed in a place you couldn’t remember at that moment. You just had to keep digging to find them. 

Your inner strength is just like that. It’s there inside you — always — waiting for you to find it. It’s buried with your lost hope, right there under your self-doubt and fear.

When you’re feeling like you can’t go on, or you don’t know how you’re going to cope with the mountain of stress or problems you’re encountering, you can reconnect with your strength by remembering that you’ve had it in the past.

You’ve already come such a long way. You’ve already dealt with so much. And quite possibly, you’ve overcome much more than what you’re going through right now. 

Remember that you got through all of those hard times. And you found more of your strength with each problem you overcame.

Your strength is a decision to keep going. It’s a decision that you will keep moving forward, no matter what. It’s tenacity and determination to find an answer. It’s choosing to believe you’ll find a way, you’ll figure it out, and the answers will come.

Your strength is a decision waiting for you to make it, and to keep making it every morning when you get up. Every time you feel like quitting. Every time you tell yourself you “can’t” to something. 

Your strength will emerge from under those piles of “stuff” — your self-doubt and its miserable little friends who try to derail you. 

But they are no match for your inner strength, which never leaves you. It’s just waiting for you to remember that and to call on it whenever you need it. 

Spiritual Arts Mentor and Master Teacher, Liberty Forrest, guides you in discovering who you are, why you’re here, and how to follow that path.

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