“I think the deafness affects me more than I realise; I think it makes me more tired. I loathe parties. I attend, smile and leave.”

— Stephanie Beacham

Although I lost the hearing in my right ear many years ago in a bizarre typing accident (yes, you read that correctly), I had no idea that single-sided deafness (SSD) was even a thing.

Nor did I have any idea how much it was adversely impacting my life — until a couple of years ago.

Yep. It’s a thing.

So how could I not know it was affecting me?

SSD is a type of hearing loss in which the reduction in hearing in one ear is so severe that it is considered to be non-functional or deaf. I thought that since I had one working ear, my loss of hearing in the other one was no big deal.

Apparently, I was wrong.

The Challenges

Those who have SSD (also “monaural” or “unilateral” hearing) have to adapt to a different way of processing audio. Below are some of the challenges.

Location of Sound

In a way, the brain uses the ears like a compass. It will figure out the direction of a sound based on which ear registers it, and the maximum volume.

But something called the “head shadow effect” means those of us with SSD don’t hear some sounds. High-frequency sounds travelling toward the head on the poor/non-hearing side are not heard. As the sound waves don’t “bend” around the head, they keep going and never reach the functional ear.

Mandy Mroz, AuD, President, Healthy Hearing, “With two ears transmitting sound waves to the brain (‘binaural hearing’), you can better pinpoint where sounds originate, such as when you’re driving and need to know where the sirens are coming from. This is also known as ‘directional hearing.’”

With SSD, sounds come in from one side, no matter where they originate. Sometimes I’m confused by a sound that should be coming from one direction but seems to be coming from another one. Or I can’t determine where a sound is coming from and turning my head makes it seem like the sound keeps moving.

Far more worrying are occasions on which your safety depends on knowing the origin of a sound. Without that ability, all kinds of accidents can happen at home, on the job, or going about your daily activities.

For example, it’s essential to know the origin of traffic sounds when riding a bike or crossing a street. If you have SSD, you must be extra diligent about keeping yourself safe.

Crowds / Background Noise

When both ears are working well, the brain is able to filter out a lot of background noise and focus only on relevant sounds, such as the conversation you’re having with someone.

But with SSD, understanding speech in background noise can be a challenge. Both ears are required for the brain to hear and process sound properly.

The “head shadow effect” hinders your ability to pick up the sound of consonants on your deaf side. Consonants have shorter wavelengths and can’t travel from your deaf side to your hearing side like the much longer wavelengths of vowel sounds.

Because consonants carry the most meaning in speech, it can be frustrating when trying to listen to people. Those of us with SSD can have a hard time hearing certain consonants (such as s, h or f), which are spoken at a higher pitch. It can make speech sound muffled, and in particular if you’re on the phone, watching TV or in a noisy situation.

Dr. Mroz says, “With two ears, sound is more balanced and it may even sound more natural. Monaural hearing, one ear, creates an unusual feeling because the brain is not stimulated equally.”

Groups

Even without the background noise of a public setting, straining to hear in groups of people is not only exhausting, it is stressful. Dr. Mroz says, “With only one working ear, your hearing range is 180 degrees instead of 360.”

For example, being in a car or walking with someone who is on your non-hearing side can mean you miss a lot of what is said. Also work meetings, or being with a group of friends will present challenges.

Arriving early can help; you have an opportunity to assess which is likely to be the best seat for your hearing ear to catch most of what’s going on. You’ll want it to face the presenter at the meeting, or as many of your friends (and the server, if you’re at a restaurant) as possible.

Even then, it is difficult to hear in groups because of side conversations, background noise, or if the speaker moves around the room.

And I had no idea how heavily I relied on lip-reading until we were all forced to wear masks.

Social Anxiety / Isolation

The challenges you face in social interactions can feel overwhelming. You might feel embarrassed about having to ask people to repeat themselves — several times — or asking them to change their seating arrangements or do anything differently to accommodate you.

You might also feel left out when you miss a fair bit of a conversation with your friends. Everyone around the table is laughing but you missed the joke. Or someone has just been discussing a deeply personal situation and you didn’t quite catch the whole story.

These feelings of disconnection, awkwardness and embarrassment can turn into anxiety about social situations and lead to isolation and loneliness.

It can even impact your ability to work. If you have trouble hearing or retaining information due to SSD or if you’re frequently interrupting and asking for clarification in meetings, it can cause stress and irritation on both sides.

Anxiety about being in the workplace grows, self-confidence plummets along with self-esteem, and it can mean either losing or quitting your job.

Multi-Tasking Is Impossible

Your brain is busy and has a lot going on at any given time. However, having two working ears helps it to multitask. For example, you could scroll through social media while watching something on TV or talking with friends.

But when you have only one working ear, the brain loses that ability. It must prioritise between what you’re hearing and what you’re seeing. So in this example, if you are scrolling through your newsfeed, you will miss out on a lot of the conversation.

Hypersensitivity to Noise

Having SSD means I’m ridiculously sensitive to noise. It is painful at times. Being in a loud pub, hearing loud noises or sharp voices…It makes me wince; it feels like a physical assault.

According to Dr. Mroz, having two working ears makes it possible to tolerate louder noises. When sudden, loud sounds are divided between two ears, the jarring effect is reduced.

Difficulty Concentrating

Listening to people speak takes significant effort and sometimes I miss what was said, especially if they read something to me. I have a hard time processing it without asking them to slow down. I need it fed to me in small bites that I can absorb, one at a time.

I’m always afraid this will be discovered. I don’t want to say, “I know you were just speaking to me but for the life of me, I didn’t get some of it. Could you repeat that, please?”

I’m afraid the speaker will think I wasn’t paying attention, when in fact, I was working harder than they could imagine to absorb every word.

With the “head shadow effect” making speech sound somewhat muffled, it forces the brain into cognitive overload. This is due to the excessive concentration that’s required to recognise sounds and decipher what is being said. While your brain is concentrating on trying to understand the content, it is less focused on retaining the information.

Here’s Are 7 Tips To Make Life With SSD Easier

1. Don’t be shy about explaining your situation. Most people will want to help; they just need to know how. To prevent embarrassment down the road, tell them about your SSD and what you need the first time an issue comes up.

2. Be clear and polite in asking for what you need. “Could you please sit to the right of me and look directly at me when you speak?”

3. Using non-verbal cues instead of repeatedly interrupting a conversation can help. Lean in closer, tilt your head, or cup your hand behind your ear as gentle reminder.

4. The more you accept yourself and having SSD, the more others will, too. They will follow your lead so if you’re comfortable with it, it’ll put them at ease, too. You could even crack a joke or two about it; it breaks the ice and makes everyone relax.

5. Try to stay calm if you’re missing some of what’s being said, especially in a group setting. Give yourself time to fill in the blanks but if you start feeling lost, it’s better to speak up and get clarification than to remain quiet.

6. Repeat what you heard to be sure it’s correct and to clarify the meaning. This can also serve as a gentle reminder that you need a little extra help, as well as telling the speaker that you value the information that was shared.

7. Ask people to speak one at a time. It’s another quiet reminder to those present that you need a little support in hearing.

Mostly…be gentle with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up because one of your ears doesn’t work. If it gets you down, shift your perspective about it. Love and honour yourself for the many traits and qualities you have that people appreciate. There’s a lot more to you than having one ear that doesn’t work as it should!

Read: How a Typing Accident Immediately Made Me Deaf In One Ear