Do you worry about what other people will think about your choices? Or the choices of your partner, your children, your siblings — or anyone else, for fear that there’s a “guilt by association” issue?

If the answer is “Yes,” ask yourself why.

“They might think I’m nuts!”

“They might think I’m awful!”

“They might think I’m (fill in the blank)!”

And your point is…???

Chances are, they won’t. Because really, people aren’t spending all that much time thinking about what we do. I mean, do you sit around for countless hours worrying about everyone else’s decisions?

I doubt it.

Sure, maybe you give them a passing thought now and then. Nothing wrong with that, especially if you care about them and want to see them happy.

But do you actually spend loads of time being preoccupied with other people’s business?

Not likely.

If you do — well, that’s not doing you — or them — any favours.

And in all likelihood, it means you’re avoiding looking at your own life, your own unhappiness and what needs to change.

Even more importantly…

…so what if they do think you’re nuts or awful or (fill in the blank)? Anyone who truly knows you and cares about you isn’t gonna give a rat’s @$$ what you do, as long as you’re happy.

Those who are being judgmental and cramming their opinions down your throat are arrogant and behaving as though they’re superior.

They’re also forgetting that they aren’t perfect, and that they’re probably doing things about which others might have a comment or two to make.

Their self-righteous attitudes don’t deserve your precious time.

Stop wasting it on them.

Besides, even if you tried to live your life based on what everyone else thinks, you’d never get it right. Everyone would have a different opinion of what’s best for you and you can’t possibly please all of them.

That’s not why you’re here anyway. Your life’s purpose is not for them to decide. It’s for you to figure out and pursue.

And to be honest, attempting to please others is never going to bring you the happiness you seek — or deserve.

In fact, the more you try to please others and do what they would have you do, the more unhappy you’ll become.

I’m not talking about those little things we do for others — and sometimes big ones.

I’m talking about living your life for others, putting their needs ahead of yours and ignoring your own. I’m talking about wistfully putting aside whatever it is you’d really love to be doing.

For example, you would love to go back to school and train for a particular job but your partner doesn’t like the idea. Maybe he/she feels threatened or complains you won’t have enough time together. Or he/she says you won’t be able to do it.

So you give up before you’ve even tried.

You pass on opportunities that would light you up and make you happy. You don’t pursue hobbies you love. You stuff your own feelings because the feelings of someone else seem “more important.”

This is a recipe for depression, resentment, toxic relationships, and a host of other issues — including possible health problems.

The only way you’re ever going to find your bliss, be fulfilled and happy is to explore and discover who you really are and who you’re meant to be.

I’m not saying you should be a hurtful, selfish person either. Let me clarify. There’s a healthy kind of Self-ish, which is about self-love and self-care. And there’s the nasty kind of selfish, which is about being thoughtless and inconsiderate of others.

You know the kind I mean…the person who goes out with a group of people for meals and drinks and never chips in. The one who speaks only about him/herself all the time and never bothers to ask how you’re doing. The one who always has to everything his/her way, whether it’s what film to watch, where to go for dinner, or where to go on holiday.

Do you suppose you’ll be on your deathbed someday, wishing you’d spent more time trying to dance to everyone else’s tune?

Do you suppose those people will be on their deathbeds, thinking about you, and wishing you’d done things their way?

More likely, they’ll be reflecting on their own lives. They’ll see the error of their ways and be wishing they’d been more tolerant, less judgemental, allowed people to thrive and grow and just BE.

So if you’re just going to end up causing yourself a lot of deathbed distress, perhaps you’ll want to start now and look after yourself, doing what you want and doing what feels right for you.

It’s the best — the only — chance you’ve got to be happy, to be the best you that you can be. At the end of the day — and at the end of your life — what else is there that’s worth the effort?

Spiritual Arts Mentor and Master Teacher, Liberty Forrest, guides you in discovering who you are, why you’re here, and how to follow that path.

Read more below.