How To Be Unconditionally Loving Even When It’s Hard

Photo courtesy of Jill Wellington from Pixabay

“Until we have seen someone’s darkness we don’t really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone’s darkness, we don’t really know what love is.” — Marianne Williamson

There is no greater power than unconditional love. It is the purest expression of the Divine spirit that resides within each of us, a spirit that connects us to the Divine Source of Creation — and therefore, to everyone else on the planet. I like to think of us as being individual rays of the same sun.

Think of how those beautiful rays look when they’re streaming out from behind a cloud. They seem to be separate lines until you look more closely and see that each blends into the next with no real ending or beginning. No separation. They are all connected.

And so are we. 

It sounds like it should be easy enough to love unconditionally; heaven knows all of us want to receive this kind of love. Obviously, we have some concept of what it is and how wonderful it would be to experience it. So why is it such a challenge to give it?

Because our emotions get in the way. Because of our judgements. Because of our expectations and needs. We can get so caught up in what others did to us, or what we think about the choices they make, or what we need, want, expect or demand from them, there’s no room for unconditional love.

Because we expect 100% acceptance of who we are, yet we are unwilling — or unprepared — to give it to others.

We see people acting out, saying and doing things that hurt themselves and others. We are on the receiving end of nasty treatment that is often more about the people dishing it out than it is about us.

When observing these kinds of behaviours, it is important to understand that you’re witnessing an expression of their emotional wounds. When you can see past those wounds and remember that behind them, there is a perfect spirit in each of those people, it can completely change how you experience them.

Feel the Love

What would it look like for you to feel loved unconditionally? Can you identify what that means to you? And how it would feel? How would you know if someone loved you unconditionally?

Think of someone you love. Think about everything that person means to you. Is there any sort of “I love this person so much, but…” or “except when…” that comes to mind?

Think of those people you love and with whom you have issues. The ones who challenge you or who “rub you the wrong way.”

What would it look like if you could see past all of that and love them for all they are, and for all they are not?

And what about the ones you do not like at all? The ones you don’t respect, the ones who have caused all sorts of pain and distress in your life?

How would it change you if you could get past all of that and love them unconditionally?

An Experiment

I invite you to practice being unconditionally loving for two weeks and see how you get on. Make a commitment to send only loving thoughts and energy to anyone who crosses your mind. 

When judgemental or critical thoughts wander into your head, let them go. Keep your heart and mind focused on loving the perfect Divine spirits that inhabit the human bodies of all those with whom you interact, or who cross your mind.

In your interactions, if you feel yourself wandering into feeling anything other than love and kindness toward someone, shift your thoughts back to that perfect, Divine spirit that you know is there.

In all situations, remain focused on being unconditionally loving. In fact, focusing on being unconditional love.

When you do this within your own interactions and situations, it becomes easier to extend that unconditionally loving energy into the wider community and then to the whole of the earth.

Imagine what could happen as a result of sending out such high vibrational energy into the world. Recently, I wrote in some detail about the science behind what happens when the same vibrational frequency is emitted from two sources. I included videos that demonstrate how and why a singer can hold a particular note and it will shatter glass. 

So we know that two identical vibrational frequencies will become stronger.

Consider how many beautiful souls on the planet are sending out thoughts and feelings of unconditional love every day. As soon as you add yours to the mix, it becomes stronger. 

Imagine how it could change the world and how it could heal and shape the lives of billions of people if everyone were doing the same. 

How Do We Accomplish This?

The concept of loving unconditionally sounds so simple. Yet in our humanness, it is often very difficult to give love in this way because we struggle to let go of our judgement and ego, the self.

It is especially difficult when we, or our loved ones, have been badly hurt by the actions — and especially the deliberately hurtful actions — of others. How are we supposed to love those who have caused such terrible pain?

We can do it by remembering that hurtful behaviour is the result of the ego’s emotional wounds and weakness. If we look past the ego, we can love the perfect Divine spirit that it hides. I’m not suggesting you should love the behaviour, just the spirit that is stuck somewhere behind it. You must separate the two.

I’m not suggesting it is necessarily easy to get to the point of unconditionally loving someone who has caused you great pain. But nor is it necessarily as difficult as you believe it to be. When you make the effort, you strengthen your own spiritual connection. And the more you strengthen that connection, the easier it becomes to love unconditionally.

And so begins a powerful and healing cycle.

When you become unconditionally loving in all your thoughts, in all situations, in all your intentions, you heal your own life as well as the lives of others.

It will also begin to remove limitations and restrictions in your life, allowing you a better view of the possibilities that are available to you, and giving you the best chance to make your dreams come true.

How about giving it a try for two weeks? Make every effort to be unconditionally loving with people and in situations you find to be challenging. That is how we grow — by stretching ourselves beyond our limits.

You may stumble; you may not always be successful. And yes, it might be extremely difficult to do it sometimes. But so what?

The benefits will be well worth the effort.

Spiritual Arts Mentor and Master Teacher, Liberty Forrest, guides you in discovering who you are, why you’re here, and how to follow that path.

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