“If you have an ounce of common sense and one good friend you don’t need an analyst.” — Joan Crawford

In both my personal and professional experience as a psychic and medium, I’ve seen a wide range of clients and have been asked a whole lot of weird questions. You’d think at some point, I’d become immune to stupidity and it wouldn’t affect me. Apparently, it doesn’t work that way.

I’ve written before about how I detest many of the standard kinds of issues for which people have requested readings. For example, 

• “What will happen when his wife finds out?” (She’ll be pissed off, he’ll apologise profusely, swear it meant nothing and stay married)

• “Will he ever leave his wife?” (No. Or if he does, he won’t be with you because sh** just got real and you are now the source of his world blowing up)

• “Will my abusive idiot ex come back to me?” (Why the hell would you want that???)

But there’s a whole range of other ridiculous questions that always made me shake my head, wondering what on earth people actually expect of a psychic. 

• “Where did my ex-husband hide the legal papers I need?”

• “Where did my late wife put the combination to the safe?”

• “Where is my passport??! I’m going to miss my flight!”

• “My cat is missing! Where is it?”

Seriously? 

Then there are the ones who only want to test my abilities, like this is a parlour trick, when it’s actually sacred work. 

“I’m going to give you six single digits. Tell me what they mean.” (This one was especially fun. It was during one of my guest appearances on the BBC, where I did “psychic phone-ins” every month or so for about five years. I shocked the hell out of the caller when I told her with great accuracy exactly what the digits were and what they meant)

Another bit of BBC fun: The woman who said “If it’s a gift, why do you charge for it?”

Because I’ve spent decades of time, energy and money honing my skills. Because it is a service that offers value and helps people with their challenges. Because it brings comfort and offers support to those in need. Because it uses my time and I can never get that back. Because if I do free readings all day, I can’t pay for my home, food, or anything else. Because talented artists, musicians, dancers etc. can earn loads of money using their “gifts,” which everyone thinks is acceptable.

By the time I got through with her, it was clear that I’d gently and firmly put her in her place. She didn’t have much to say and hung up.

This One Takes the Whole Damn Cake

Oh, and then there was this BBC call that completely blew my doors off. I could not believe anyone would do this — and especially not in the circumstances I’m about to share…

A guy rang the station and told me that his father-in-law was terminally ill. They’d been told he had a few months to live but this guy and his wife “had plans to make,” plans that apparently hinged on the old guy cashing in his chips. 

Side note: I’m guessing they were counting on spending the wife’s inheritance. Oh, how I hoped the joke would be on them and the elderly gent would have left all his money to some old lady’s cats.

But wait, there’s more! 

Before I tell you the truly horrifying piece of this story…first, there’s this bit:

I would never answer this question anyway for so many reasons that I should not even have to mention them (so I won’t. Anyone with any sensibility and a conscience — or even just two brain cells to rub together — will already know). But I was live, on the air, and had to be tactful. I did my best to get him off that topic and to encourage him to make the most of the time they had left. 

Nope, he wasn’t having it. He kept pressuring me for some sense of a timeline. And pressuring me. And pressuring me.

And the kicker was…near the beginning of this call, the man said the old guy loved the show, especially when I was a guest, and was listening from his bedroom down the hall.

I was navigating this nightmare question, and the freak of a son-in-law who kept asking, “But when? Can’tcha just guess? Just gimme some idea?”…knowing the father-in-law was dying down the bloody hall and listening to every word. 

Yeah, I’ve got some ideas for you, you bloody moron. 

Dear readers, can anyone tell me what the hell is wrong with people? 

Anyway…I don’t do readings for stupid people with stupid questions. Or even for smart people with stupid questions.

I cannot — in good conscience — use my sacred gifts for anything other than assisting clients in figuring out how to overcome obstacles, move forward, and create better lives.

They’ll have to keep track of their passports, cats, and crazy ex-boyfriends without my help.

Wondering about next steps for your life? Spiritual Arts Mentor and Master Teacher, Liberty Forrest, guides you in discovering who you are, why you’re here, and how to follow that path.

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