A Reading: A Stillbirth Haunted This Young Mother …
…Until her daughter's spirit reached out from beyond the grave …
***
At the beginning of every session, I always asked clients not to give me any information during the reading, other than to answer my questions with, “Yes,” “No,” or “I don’t know,” and if I asked a question that required anything more, I wanted only the briefest answer possible.
Not only did this help me offer a clean reading, it removed any speculation that I was merely feeding back what I’d already been told, or that I was making educated guesses.
In other words, it removed the possibility that I am a fraud.
I knew nothing when the sessions started, other than who it was they hoped would come through or what they hoped to achieve from our time together.
In the interests of brevity, what is written below is a condensed version of the reading.
I first met “MP-T” in an in-person session. Long ash-blonde hair, wide-set eyes, 30-ish, looking somewhat uncomfortable (not unusual for new clients in this industry). After booking her session, she had emailed to say she was “terrified of this whole thing.” I assured her that although it might be emotional, it won’t be frightening.
“I take this work very seriously,” I wrote in my reply. “This is not a parlour trick. It is my profession, therefore I conduct myself professionally and ethically, making sure I never cause harm in delivering messages that come through.”
She was relieved.
Back to our session. “Who is it you’d like to connect with today?”
“My daughter.” It was barely more than a whisper.
“Okay. I’m so sorry for your loss,” I offered. It’s such a helpless feeling. There are simply no words.
I tuned in and quickly felt a young, female presence. “I have a little girl with me and she’s telling me she’s appearing to me as being older than when she passed. Sometimes spirits do this; they choose to come through older or younger than when they crossed over.” I was quiet for a few moments, connecting with this bright, little spirit. “She’s telling me that she was very young when she returned to spirit, very small. A baby?”
The woman nodded slightly.
“She’s also showing me a sudden stop. A short life. She’s giving me the feeling that she didn’t even get started and it was over. Gone before she got here, is how it feels.”
Another slight nod and tears fill her eyes.
“It’s unexpected. She’s talking about all this excitement about her new life and everything seems fine and then — it stops. It’s a shock. No one saw it coming and nothing could have been done.”
More tears.
“I think it’s safe to say that we have your daughter here with us.”
She nods, obviously choked up, holding back floods of tears and unable to speak.
“She’s giving me the feeling of something about her neck. It feels tight. It’s too tight, I want to pull something away. This is what sends her to the spirit realm. It was her cord?”
“Yes.” She clears her throat. “Yes, it was.” Wiping her eyes with a tissue.
“She wants you to know it didn’t hurt. She says you’ve worried about this, that it must have hurt and it was a terrible way for her to go. But she says, ‘I was inside you where it was warm and peaceful, Mummy. I felt safe and I could hear your heart beating, all the way to the end.’ She says she could always hear you talking to her and she felt so loved, even if it wasn’t how you wanted it to be.”
I give her mother a moment to absorb all of this before continuing.
“She knows you don’t like to think about this, but she says, ‘It was supposed to be this way.’ She says, ‘I was only supposed to have this much time with you and it’s okay with me. You always talk about how I never even got to know what it was like to be held by you, but I did. In a different way. You held me inside you. I couldn’t get any closer to you than that.’ And she says you have so much disappointment about all the things she never got to do.”
She nods. The tears are under control. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.
“She says, ‘I didn’t get any of the good things you wanted me to enjoy but I also didn’t get any of the bad things that can happen.’ She never even had to experience fear, but she’s seen it in you since she returned to spirit and she always tries to comfort you when that happens. She knows you’re sad for all the things you didn’t get to do with her. She’s sorry about that, and she’s so glad you have two more little ones now. She says you were so afraid to have more babies. Does any of this make sense to you?”
“Yes! I was so afraid it would happen again!”
“I understand. Please don’t offer any information. Just ‘yes’ or ‘no’ please.”
“Sorry.”
“No worries. She’s also saying you’ve been feeling guilty. You feel like you shouldn’t be happy and you always feel guilty whenever you enjoy your children or you’re having a good time or you find yourself laughing. Would you understand this?”
“Yes! I do!”
“She’s saying that you must let go of that guilt. You get to be here, you get to have your life and do all kinds of things that you wanted to do with her. She doesn’t want you to be sad for the rest of your life or to feel bad for enjoying being here. She says, ‘Mummy, if I had stayed and you had crossed over, would you have wanted me to be sad forever and never laugh?’ She knows what the answer is. She just heard you think it, but she wants you to say it.”
“Of course I wouldn’t want that.”
“She doesn’t want that for you either. She’s happy about her little brother and sister and she’s so glad you finally got to be a Mummy the way you wanted.”
The little girl appears beside her mother’s chair, peering intently at the woman’s face. The child looks to be about 5 years old. She reaches over and pats her mother’s cheek tenderly.
Just then, her mother’s hand comes up and brushes her cheek, as if there’s a hair tickling her.
The little girl giggles and pats her mother’s cheek again, getting the same response.
I have to speak up. “That’s her.”
“What’s her?”
“She’s standing beside you. That little tickle…she’s been touching your cheek.”
Her chin quivers and the tears flow. “She’s right here? Now?”
“Yes. Blonde, fair, perhaps about 5 years old?”
“She would have been 6 but she was on the petite side. She’s touching me?”
“Mm-hm.”
“Oh, how I wish I could see her!” More tears.
“I understand. Try this. Close your eyes. Focus on the love you feel for her. Focus on how happy she made you while she was still on this side of life. Take some long, deep breaths and just focus on her.”
She did as I suggested. After a minute or so, the little girl reached over and laid her hand on her mum’s cheek. MP-T’s eyes opened suddenly, her head moving in the direction of the girl. “Is that — did she — ”
I nodded. “Close your eyes and just enjoy a few moments with her spirit. In your mind, say whatever you want to say to her; she’ll hear you, just like she always does when you think of her or speak to her.”
Smiling, tears trickling silently for a minute or two. Her sweet daughter stood with her hand on Mummy’s cheek the entire time.
The little girl spoke. “She says, ‘I love you, too, Mummy. And yes, I’ll stay with you forever. But you have to promise me you’ll be happy, okay?’”
“Oh, my God! She really heard me!”
“Of course! That’s how this works. Our loved ones always hear us when we’re thinking or speaking about them.”
“Wow. I hoped. But I didn’t really think … Oh, my God. I wish I could see her. I wish I could know what she would have been like.”
“I can’t even imagine how hard that is for you. But the next best thing is to do what you just did. Take some time now and then to sit quietly and focus on her. Spend time with her that way. Sometimes you might not sense her with you, and that’s okay. Sometimes they pull away a bit to help us let go and move on. But she’ll always be with you.”
“That’s so good to know!”
“And she’s pushing me to get that promise from you, that you’ll be happy.”
She laughs. “I guess she’s as feisty as I was when I was a kid! Yes, okay. I promise! It’ll be easier now, so much easier knowing she’s still here with me.”
I smiled. “She sure is. She’s been here all along.”
***
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