At the beginning of every session, I always asked clients not to give me any information during the reading, other than to answer my questions with, “Yes,” “No,” or “I don’t know,” and if I asked a question that required anything more, I wanted only the briefest answer possible.

Not only did this help me offer a clean reading, it removed any speculation that I was merely feeding back what I’d already been told, or that I was making educated guesses.

In other words, it removed the possibility that I am a fraud.

I knew nothing when the sessions started, other than who it was they hoped would come through or what they hoped to achieve from our time together.

In the interests of brevity, what is written below is a condensed version of the reading.

“SG” was on the other side of our Zoom session. Seven months earlier, he had lost his beloved husband and partner of 33 years, “KL”. SG was hoping KL would come through to reconnect.

“I have a younger male coming through. I don’t mean he’s young like in his 20s. I mean he’s younger than you. Feels like about 5 to 8 years, somewhere in there, does this make sense to you?”

“Yes.

“I just want to describe what I get about him generally, like, what he was like as a person so we can establish if this is your beloved, okay?”

“Sure, yeah.”

“He feels troubled in some way, I mean, not bothered about a specific problem. I mean he’s sort of prone to sadness, is perhaps the best way to put it, but he has quite an opposite side, as well, like a playful little kid. It’s quite startling, really, the contrast.”

“Yes.” He smiles but it doesn’t mask the sadness in his eyes.

“So he can be quite serious and quiet, but then all of a sudden it’s like you have a little boy on your hands. Not in an exuberant way. But more — he’s more like — well, it feels almost like you’re like a dad to him. Like he needed a father figure. And he can be playful when he’s in that mood but it’s also got something to do with maybe not having had a dad, or his dad wasn’t really there in some way, but somehow there’s this kind of nurturing that he needs from you, does this make sense?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Okay, thank you. He isn’t as colourful as you, this is what he says to me. He’s more reserved, quiet, in the background, whereas you’re vibrant and boisterous and everyone knows you’re in the room.”

“Yes,” he chuckles.

“I’m getting a hard pressure in my chest, a lot of pain and I feel like I can’t breathe. It comes out of nowhere, like I’ve been punched in the chest and then — I’m gone. It’s quick. I’m here and then I’m gone. Feels like maybe heart attack?”

“Yes,” he said as tears began to flow.

“Okay, I’m sorry about that. But that’s what he gave me. I had to say it.”

“It’s okay.”

“I feel like we’ve had enough confirmation that this is KL with us.”

“Yeah, I’d say so,” he says, wiping away few tears while he smiles.

“The first thing he wants to say is that you have to stop feeling guilty. He says you keep saying you should have been there, you could have got help.”

He nods slightly.

“There was nothing you could have done and he needs you to know this. He was gone pretty much as soon as he went down. He needs you to know it was just his time to go and to stop beating yourself up about it. Do you understand this?”

“Yes,” through tears.

“You keep ‘what-iffing’ and it’s not helpful. It makes you feel worse. It doesn’t solve anything. It won’t bring him back. Nothing could have brought him back. He says there could have been an EMT right there at the time and it wouldn’t have helped. Please stop blaming yourself.”

“I can’t!”

“Well, if you say you can’t, then you can’t. How about changing that to, ‘I haven’t been able to do it yet’? That’s a whole different energy.”

“Yeah, I see.”

“He’s telling you there was nothing you could have done. You must let this go. He’s also saying you feel awful because he was alone. Do you understand this?”

“Yes.”

“He didn’t really know what hit him. It didn’t matter to him that he was alone. It was over so fast. He wants you to stop worrying about it.”

He shrugs. Doesn’t look convinced.

“He’s also telling me that he’s sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye but he’s not really gone. He hears you talking to him all the time. He’s joking now and says sometimes he wishes you’d shut up! I’m sorry, his words, not mine!”

He laughs. “Yeah, he was always telling me to shut up! Not in a mean way but that was just our thing. I’m a talker. He liked his quiet.”

“Seriously, though, he says he’s still with you and he hears you when you talk to him. He’s saying something about the dishwasher. Hang on a minute…was the dishwasher broken? He’s showing me someone there tinkering with it, like fixing it.”

“Oh, my God! Yes! I just had it fixed a few days ago!”

“Well, he was there, he wants you to know he saw that, so you’ll know he’s still with you.”

“Oh, my God. I can’t believe he was there for that!”

“Why not? He’s always nearby. He says you’ve thought you felt him but you wondered if it was just wishful thinking. It wasn’t. He was there.”

Smiling and wiping away tears.

“Why is he singing the ABC song? The alphabet song? I keep hearing something about the ABCs. I have no idea what he’s on about. Do you know what this is?”

His eyes get big.

“Yes!”

“There’s a big event, a big occasion of some kind that has to do with this ABC song. I really don’t understand but he’s making me feel a lot of excitement. Like this is a big deal.”

“Yes! Definitely!”

“Okay.” Admittedly, I’m puzzled, but I never need to know what it’s about. As long as the client undertands, that’s all that matters. I’m just the messenger. “He’s saying to wear the blue one. You bought a new blue one.” I’m not sure what this means. I check for more detail. “A blue shirt? You bought a blue shirt recently and that’s the one you should wear.”

“Yes! I did! Oh, my God, I was wondering — ”

“Don’t tell me anything!”

“Sorry!”

“The blue shirt is for this thing with the ABC song. He says blue was always his favourite colour on you.”

“Yes, it was.”

“He’s also saying he’ll be with you for that event, cheering you on. He’s so excited for you and says this is what you’ve been working toward for a long time.”

“I really have!”

“Well, then, congratulations! That’s from me, not him. Oh, wait. From him, too!”

“Thanks!”

“He’s watched you through a lot of hard times trying to get to this point with whatever this project is or this work, whatever this event is about and it’s time you had your success. He’s beaming for you, really happy.”

Sniffles. More tears. Tissues.

“He’s going quiet now but wants you to know he loves you and to remember he’s always with you.”

“Tell him I love him, too!”

“You just did.”

At the end of the session, SG told me that he was scheduled to appear on an ABC talk show to promote his unusual work and a book he wrote on the topic. I can’t share more because of client confidentiality.

I no longer do traditional readings, but during my guidance sessions, I am often given messages to pass along, which is always a special treat.

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