I’m In the Midst of A Miracle!

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“Know in your heart that all things are possible. We couldn’t conceive of a miracle if none had ever happened.” ― Libbie Fudim

It’s happening. I had resigned myself to the fact that it never would. And honestly, I was okay with that.

In the past year and a half, there has been no appreciable improvement to the condition of my knee after a terrible injury more than 2 years ago.

It was November 3, 2022 when I slipped on the ice, ripped the quadriceps right off the bone, and broke my kneecap into pieces. The leg has regained just enough strength that after 4 months in a full leg brace, a year of walker and crutches, and nearly another year with a cane, I can manage stairs (carefully, with a sturdy railing), and I can walk (slowly and with a limp) unassisted on flat surfaces.

Although my balance is still not good, I can just about manage 2 or 3 seconds standing on the healing leg sometimes by itself, if I prepare and concentrate. Five seconds on a really good day!

I seem to have stalled where I am, and that’s okay. I have accepted and been deeply grateful for the amount of healing I’ve had, and the fact that I can maintain my independence.

***

The leg limitations have been manageable and minimal. The most troublesome issues have been with the knee. More than 2 years post-surgery, it’s still not fully functional with no change in 1–1/2 years.

And it has continued to be swollen and discoloured, with some odd bony lumps protruding from it. Sounds really attractive, right? If I ever consider dating again (perish the thought!), I’ll have to put that on my profile.

Two and a half months after surgery, I was given simple exercises to do three times a day. The bone and muscle had repaired sufficiently to begin small movements, and the adjustable leg brace could be changed to increase flexion by 15° per week.

Eager to return to normal, I was diligent about doing the exercises. But about 7 months post surgery, all progress with the knee stopped. No matter what I did, I couldn’t bend it past 110° which was well behind 140° (full range of motion).

The physiotherapist said if trying to gently move past that point causes sharp pain, do not push it. Back off. And that’s exactly what happened, so I couldn’t progress. It would also hurt like hell when trying to straighten it again, even if it was only bent to a place where it was relatively comfortable.

As well as that, when bending the knee, the whole area several inches above it felt thick. Seems an odd description, but it’s the only way I can describe it. It was terribly stiff and tight, and no matter how gently I kept trying to encourage it and talk to it about relaxing and bending a little more, it would scream at me, adamantly refusing with sharp pain.

Squatting to see into bottom cupboards has been a challenge. As in, “Not a chance.” Getting down onto the floor — and oh, dear, back up again — extremely difficult.

I have nerve damage in the knee, too, since the surgeon had to cut them right down the middle from several inches above the knee to a couple below. The right side of my knee and the surrounding area have been numb and felt thick and outrageously sensitive ever since. I haven’t been able to touch any part of the numb area; it would produce a horrible sensation that I can’t even describe, and has always turned my stomach.

Another bit of weirdness has been that ever since the surgery, it’s felt like there is a tight band about 3–4 inches wide stretching across the front of my leg, just above the knee. The physiotherapist had no explanation for it, nor did the surgeon. I kept trusting — hoping — that with ongoing healing, it would begin to shift and eventually disappear.

This has been a most disconcerting feeling. I’ve always been aware of that tight band sensation across my leg with every single step for more than 2 years.

Until now.

***

A little detour for a moment, please.

As a homeopath, I’ve often been able to treat myself, but sometimes it is preferable to have someone outside the box take a look. Especially when one can’t see the Forrest for the trees. Haha, see what I did there?

A few weeks ago, I decided to see a homeopath about more important concerns than my “I’m used to this and can live with it” knee/leg situation. But my dear friend and homeopath of 20 years is not currently practicing.

Because the school where I’d received my homeopathy training has one of the best reputations worldwide for producing top-quality homeopaths, I went to them for a referral (which is how I met my above-mentioned dear friend when I needed homeopath). They referred me to Deborah McCarthy and I’m so blessed to have had an appointment with her 2 weeks ago.

Before I go any further, it needs to be said that homeopathy stimulates the body’s own powerful ability to to heal itself.

We don’t do “for this ailment, take that remedy” the way doctors do in allopathic (traditional) medicine. They look at getting rid of the symptoms. We call that treating the disease.

In homeopathy, we treat the patient by finding the deeper issue that is causing the symptoms and healing that.

We get a detailed history and picture of the entire patient mentally, emotionally and physically, digging into all sorts of things from life-changing moments to what position you lie in when you’re sleeping to what time of day or night is your favourite.

We look for one main theme and prescribe one remedy based on that, and when the correct remedy is chosen, the patient will begin seeing changes in all sorts of things. Not just their main complaints of depression, anxiety, migraines, physical pain or other ailments. We might see changes in lots of areas from body temperature to food cravings to leaving the abusive spouse to quitting the job they hate to signing up for a class they’ve always wanted to getting a whole new hairstyle. And yes, their health complaints make a quiet exit, too, often without much fanfare. They just…go.

You never quite know what’ll happen when you get a good remedy, but it’ll always be in your best interests and it’ll be healing you on a deep level.

So… Two weeks ago, I had an appointment with “Debs”. She made her prescription and I took the remedy that afternoon. By the following morning, I saw powerful results in the main issues that had been troubling me.

Pleased that those concerns were gone, I’ve been getting on with life as usual. I forgot all about the appointment and remedy.

Until yesterday afternoon.

I had been sitting at my desk for a couple of hours and got up for a loo break and a glass of water. As soon as I started walking, I noticed the change. The tight band sensation above my knee was gone. It had still been there in the morning; I specifically remember noticing it when getting out of bed, as it was one of its “worse” days (it was always a see-saw sort of thing).

And just a few hours later, it was gone. I took a few more steps. Wandered around my home, incredulous. That sensation was, indeed, gone.

Something else was happening, though. I had an awareness of the right side of my kneecap and the area around it where it has been numb due to the nerve damage. And I was also aware of an area below my knee. It wasn’t pain; just … an awareness. Kind of like the band sensation but not uncomfortable or tight.

In homeopathy, after a remedy is given we look for better, worse or different. As long as there is “change,” it means something is happening.

So between these new “awarenesses,” and the fact that the tight band sensation was gone, it struck me that the remedy was inadvertently healing my knee. I’ve certainly seen very old wounds healed in many patients (both emotional and physical wounds), even when that wasn’t the main complaint. It’s that lovely “whole person” thing about the way homeopathy heals. But I hadn’t even given the leg any thought when I connected with Debs for my appointment.

To be honest, I was afraid to get my hopes up. I’m quite used to the knee the way it is, and although full healing would be great, I’d rather not experience false hope and disappointment.

Throughout the evening, everything stayed as it was, and when I got into bed, I did the ultimate two tests.

First, because of that strange “awareness” of the right side of my knee and surrounding area, I touched it. Gently at first, because of the horrible sensation even a light touch produced.

It was fine. I pressed harder. All good. And I could feel that the numbness had vastly improved. The nerves had suddenly begun healing and feeling was returning. Still numb, yes, but not nearly as numb as it was and in a smaller area. I could actually press on that entire area, and I could rub it, too. I was — and am — absolutely gobsmacked.

Second, I did the “bend test.” This has been such an awfully painful thing to do — I do test it every now and then, trying gently to stretch those poor muscles after being reattached to the bone, but NOPE. It’s always been extremely painful over the knee, along with that thick, tight feeling up into my thigh, and I couldn’t bend my leg past that 110° range. My “measuring device” was lying on my back and sliding both feet toward myself. Left foot always did way better, full flexion.

Last night, my right foot was almost as close to my body as the left. And with no knee pain. That thick, stiff feeling in my knee and thigh had also vanished. And it didn’t hurt when I straightened it either.

I was so excited, I got a li’l weepy. I didn’t realise how much it would matter to me to have continued healing, as I’ve been grateful for the progress I made and was just happy to be functional. I’d learned to adapt and lived with it as it was.

And now …. just since yesterday … although my knee still pops and crunches audibly 🤢 every time I bend it, it bends without pain and further than it has since before my injury. It sounds like tiny steps, but these are huge changes. Maybe they mean there are more to come. Maybe the remedy will continue to work on my knee. Maybe the swelling will go, the discolouration, the weird, bony lumps, the popping and crunching.

Maybe someday, my leg will actually be fully healed and back to normal.

But for now, with that uncomfortable tight band sensation gone, the feeling beginning to return, being able to actually touch my knee without it causing that horrible sensation and making me feel sick…and reaching almost full flexion without pain … this is all one huge miracle for me.

And I am deeply grateful.