Are You Being Kind To Yourself?
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“Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.” — Lisa M. Hayes
Here we are at the beginning of yet another new calendar year, some of us eager to leave the previous one behind, others anticipating what lies ahead.Perhaps you are in both camps — or neither.
Although I do appreciate this time of year to reflect on where I’ve been and where I’d like to go, I’m not a fan of “new year’s resolutions.” Sticking with any sort of life change or habit change is often dependent upon willpower, which is impossibly fickle because it is so easily impacted by emotions.
As soon as we’re stressed or sleep-deprived, we’re primed and ready for emotions to derail our best intentions. And who doesn’t experience stress or poor sleep? Only the unconscious, I suppose. Uh, I’m guessing that’s not you.
So you get slammed by a few miserable nights, or perhaps a smack upside the head with some distressing news and oops! Your willpower becomes an Olympic runner and is out the door and 42 miles away before you’ve even realised what hit you.
And we all know what happens when we make resolutions. The first mistake is in thinking they mean we can NEVER SLIP UP!! If we make one mistake, fall of the diet wagon or skip the gym once, that’s it. We’re done. Oh, no, we didn’t stick to the exact (and ridiculously impossible) plan! We blew it for another year, and it all goes tits up till the next January 1st.
STOP THAT!
Scrap your “resolutions.” Ditch the impossible notion that you are not allowed to mess up, to make a mistake, to have a bad day, or fall off whatever wagon you’ve put yourself on. Jeez, Louise! I can promise you, that is not the last chance you’ll ever have to take steps toward your goals!
A little perspective, People!
Instead, how about cutting yourself some slack? How about being kind to yourself and promising that you’ll do your best each day to achieve whatever specific goals are important to you? How about letting go of the unrealistic demands and expectations you’ve got chained to your neck?
How about no longer dragging around all the self-recrimination and thoughts of failure that have been plaguing you for years? They sure as heck haven’t helped you feel better about yourself. They haven’t made you follow through on those unreasonable promises you swore you’d keep this time.
Look, it’s hard enough to make those big changes that require a shift in habits, lifestyle, perspective or priorities. If you want your best chance at making any sort of positive improvements in your life — whether you choose January 1st or any other specific day, event or occasion on which to begin — it’s a lot easier if you start from a place of feeling at peace with yourself and where you are right now.
It’s also a lot easier if you stop giving your power to those self-recriminations. Beating yourself up will get you absolutely nowhere — except to feel worse than when you started.
You cannot create positive change from such a negative foundation!
I have just the thing to help you turn it around.
Many years ago, I created a Guided Meditation for Healing and Empowerment. As we embark on New Calendar Time Again, I’m offering it at 50% off. It’ll take you away to a beautiful tropical paradise, a place of peace and healing. Enjoy the vivid imagery that’ll help you begin to release and let go of old wounds, and to feel like you’ve regained a sense of power and control again.
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Stop beating yourself up. Don’t jump into another year, dragging along anything that should be left behind. Time to set aside negative self-talk, useless promises, and anything that keeps you chained to old pain.
Begin today — whatever the date when you’re reading this — with a new, or renewed outlook on the future, with your heart filled with hope and a desire to heal what needs healing so you can create the life of your dreams.
And if you’re already on that track, no doubt you’re sharing your light and helping others find theirs. Blessings and best wishes to you — to all of you, wherever you are on the journey.
You are loved and deeply appreciated for all you are, and for all you are not. 💜
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As a Spiritual Arts Mentor and Master Teacher, I will guide you in discovering who you are, why you’re here, and how to follow that path.