It means much more than you might think

Are you stifling your creative spirit?

I can absolutely say mine was stifled for much of my life and I could never have imagined what it would take to change that.

First — the “Reader’s Digest Condensed Version” of relevant events. I’ll keep it simple and skip through a few of the highlights just enough to make my points.

After a scary childhood in which I was fed a steady diet of insults, criticism and other kinds of abuse, I left home at 16, dropping out of high school shortly thereafter. I got married at 17, had a baby 10 months later, and was divorced 10 months after that when I’d just turned 19. My ex-husband moved away and I was left to raise our daughter on my own.

A few years later, I got involved with someone briefly and had another baby. I was on my own to raise my girls and try to make ends meet. And of course, there were more struggles and challenges and babies and husbands and single-parenting thrown into the mix. I don’t need to go into detail here; there’s plenty about that stuff on my blog.

The point is that from the moment I came out of the chute, my main focus was survival in one way or another (usually a few at once). My life was all about putting out fires until well into adulthood.

There was no room for creativity, apart from having a little space for music. It was the one creative aspect of my life and my very being that was encouraged in childhood. But my love for art, writing, humour, skits/acting/drama, even designing floor plans on my little chalkboard when I was only about 6 or 7 — those tiny sparks were soon stifled.

For example, I remember loving to draw or paint as a little kid. And that every time I gave my mum one of my little masterpieces, she’d scowl and say, “What am I supposed to do with this?” while crumpling my picture into a ball and tossing in the bin. And along with them, the notion of any sort of dreams I might have had for “what I wanted to be when I grew up.”

Throughout the chaos of my adult life while raising children and being married and divorced 438 times (okay, maybe not quite that many) and coping with single parenting and ill health and blah blah blah, there was simply no time or energy — or even the idea — to engage in creative pursuits.

Not until a completely unforeseen “something” happened and changed everything.

I fell in love with England. I’d had no particular interest in it when I went to visit a friend who had moved there. But within 10 minutes of her picking me up at Heathrow and heading down the M4 toward her home, I wept and said, “Oh, my God, I’m home!”

Ten months later, I left my home in Western Canada and moved across the pond (and the planet). Intending to live the rest of my life on that beautiful little island, I became a British citizen and couldn’t have been more blissful. The whole story is long so as I said at the top of this piece, I’ll keep it simple and share the relevant bits.

Not only was this a completely fresh start in many ways, there was something about the energy in England that nourished my soul like nothing I’d ever experienced. It was the first (and so far, the only) place I ever felt like I belonged. It was as though something deep inside me had been unlocked or cracked open. Unleashed.

I dabbled in writing music. I wrote three books in 8 months and won my first award — and ultimately got a literary agent in London, which I never could have imagined. I began painting (creating 50 paintings in the first month) and 2 weeks later, made my first sale to someone in Australia who offered hundreds of pounds for it (??!).

I had such fun with DIY projects, tearing up our 500-year-old cottage and restoring the beauty of its interior stone walls, original oak floors, and so much more, putting my “stamp” on that lovely old darling and further enhancing its charm.

My abilities as a psychic and medium suddenly blossomed. They had been quietly growing in strength since making themselves known when I was a kid. I began doing readings professionally, and a series of events led to my doing monthly “psychic phone-ins” on BBC, which I did for about 5 years. I was also doing stage work as a medium, connecting audience members with loved ones in spirit.

There were other ways in which my true nature erupted. Once I reconnected with that long-buried tiny spark, it soon became a roaring fire. I was lit up like never before, discovering more about who I am, what I love, how I feel, and what matters to me. And how to express all of that through my creative pursuits in art, writing, music, decorating, and more.

Years later, I can’t imagine how bleak my life would have been without those discoveries. I’d have continued to be stifled without even knowing it, never having an opportunity to know who I truly am. I think back on those early, painful years of struggle and countless crises.

Although the universe had its own plan and eventually sent me back to Canada, I’ve brought with me the many gifts that were so generously bestowed upon me during my years in England.

Now, I live alone and am happy with my solitary life. I’m so blessed to be able to do exactly as I please all day every day, keeping the hours I want and living in complete freedom. I spend my days being as creative as my heart desires. I also get to spend as much time as I need or want recharging, being quiet, restoring and refuelling, so I can continue to pursue my spiritual path and my creativity — which are so closely connected. They are two sides of the same coin.

Throughout my journey of self-discovery, I learned that creativity comes in many forms, and that everyone is creative in some way, even for those who think they aren’t. It doesn’t have to be in traditional manifestations such as dance, art, music, writing, woodworking and so on. You might have a knack for problem solving, gardening, architecture, being an “idea generator”, cooking, baking, crafting, science (how do you think research and inventions happen?), fashion, urban planning, social changes, unusual education and teaching methods, mixology and cool cocktails … you get the point.

Your creativity is the essence of who you are. It is the purest expression of your soul and it lies in your greatest strengths and your greatest joy. It’s what lights you up; you can spend hours doing it, and it feels like hardly any time has passed at all.

When you stifle your creativity, you’re also stifling who you’re meant to be and how you’re intended to show up in this life.

Expressing your creativity allows you to drop your piece of the puzzle into the world and take your place in it, where you belong. It allows you to shine your beautiful Light for the rest of us to see. We want to experience its brilliance. We want to know who’s buried under whatever might be stifling it, whether childhood stuff or being too busy or not having the confidence or whatever else might be holding you back.

So please — be generous with yourself and the rest of the world. Open up those doors to your creativity as only you can do, and let your soul shine.

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As a Spiritual Arts Mentor and Master Teacher, I will guide you in discovering who you are, why you’re here, and how to follow that path.