Which one will you use?

When I was studying social work a million years ago, I had the coolest instructor — Katusha Mortimer-Rae. Everyone loved her, loved her unique teaching style, her interesting classes, and there were a handful of us who were lucky enough to be invited into her personal life to become good friends.

We never knew what to expect in Katusha’s classes, apart from being certain it would be entertaining and would leave a lasting impression — much like Katusha herself. She was one of those people who left a massive hole in the lives of everyone who knew and loved her. It’s more than 3 years since she returned to spirit. Such a beautiful Light…I still can’t quite believe she’s gone. 

I’ll never forget the day our assignment was to write our own obituaries. For most of the students, this was a horrifying thought. But over the years, I’d had several way-too-close brushes with death. I was well aware of my own mortality so it was no big deal to understand the need to be prepared. 

In fact, I had my first Will done and got a life insurance policy when I was 20. I was the single parent of a 2-year-old and although my life was a train wreck in many ways, I understood the need for being responsible about such things. On top of my own significant health issues and nearly dying a few times, during my high school years I lost several friends from car accidents, drowning, suicide and even murder.

I found it interesting to do that assignment but in a way that had nothing to do with facing my death. To me, it was far more about looking at who I wanted to become, what I wanted to accomplish before I leave this life. It was about contemplating how I wanted to be remembered. 

No doubt there will be some who remember me in a way that makes them want to dance on my grave — and that’s just fine with me. I’m not here to win a popularity contest; I’m here to do what my soul came here to do, and to do it to the best of my ability. 

Heaven knows I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way, and no doubt I’m not done yet. I’ll still keep doing the best I can, and if there are some who don’t like me, I don’t give a rat’s @$$. I’m not responsible for their feelings. They can choose to love me or despise me or be annoyed or irritated or angered by me. That’s up to them. How they feel about me is none of my business. 

Besides, it’s impossible to be on the same vibrational frequency as everyone on the planet. There’s no way we can resonate with every single person we meet. Some people will rub us the wrong way, often for no specific reason, and you can be sure others feel that way about you, too. 

And that’s fine. Best to be okay with that and move on. 

I am. With some luck, I’ll be remembered by others for having done a good thing or two and I’m okay about the ones who have other opinions. 😇👹

Fast Forward to Your Future

Although many of us think about the dreams we hope to make come true, the many experiences and adventures we hope to have, and “what we want to be when we grow up,” they elicit a completely different feeling when you look at them from the perspective of your life being finished, and seeing just how far you actually got.

What impression do you want to leave? What imprint do you want to make on the souls of those whose lives you touch? How do you want to be remembered?

Consider what people will say about you — and what you would like them to say. Choose a word that best defines how you want to be remembered and then live it. Be it. Embody it. Embrace it. 

Whatever that word is, make sure you incorporate plenty of its qualities into your days. Live your life so you know absolutely that you’ll leave an enormous gaping hole in the lives of everyone who has the pleasure of being invited into your heart.

And remember you’re human. There will be times it’s hard to live your word. You’ll have grumpy moments or grumpy days and you might fall off your “word wagon” now and then. I do. Everyone does. 

Although if your word is “grumpy,” I guess you don’t have to worry about that. 😂

What’s most important is that whenever you do fall off that word wagon, get back on the dang thing and do your best to live your word again. Your friends and family will thank you for it. The rest of your life will thank you for it.

My word is “playful.” What’s yours?

(*For those of you who have known me for a while, you might recall that nearly 2 years ago, I left England to return to Canada to care for a terminally ill long-time friend. It was Katusha’s beloved husband, Peter-John; she had died the previous year. He was alone and needed assistance through the end of his life. We thought he had a year or perhaps two, but he developed an unexpected illness and died almost as soon as I arrived. We had one lovely evening together; I will cherish it always.)

Katusha’s obituary written by Peter John

Peter John’s obituary, written by me

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