What's Wrong With These Words?

To be honest, I feel kinda sorry for them 😢

(Image by author in Canva)

A lot of my Really Dumb Stuff Pondering is because I. Heart. Words. For example, if you’re familiar with my work, you’ll have seen me use “splendiferous” with some regularity. Several people have thought I invented it. Ohhhh, how I wish I could take credit for it, but alas! I cannot! According to the Oxford English Dictionary, there’s this:

“The earliest known use of the adjective splendiferous is in the Middle English period (1150–1500). OED’s earliest evidence for splendiferous is from before 1500, in the writing of George Ashby, administrator and poet. splendiferous is a borrowing from Latin, combined with an English element.” — oed.com

And further from oed.com on its etymology:

A borrowing from Latin, combined with an English element.

Etymons: Latin splendiferus, ‑ous suffix.

< post-classical Latin splendiferus (from 12th cent. in British and continental sources; shortened < splendorifer (5th or 6th cent.) < classical Latin splendor splendour n. + ‑ifer ‑ifer comb. form) + ‑ous suffix.

Compare Middle French splendifere (1482).

With later use in sense 2 compare splendacious adj.

I guess we oughta trust the Oxford English Dictionary ’cause, I mean, the English invented the language. Well, they cobbled it together, mainly from a bunch of other ones. Didja know something like 70% of English comes from other languages? That’s why we have so many inconsistencies. Like this bit of misery:

• mouse, mice

• louse, lice

• house, hice? (*insert sound of needle scraping across the record…*)

• spouse, spice? 😳

• And of course the singular of rice is not rouse! That’s a whole other word that many people do not enjoy in the morning!

• Let’s not forget douse, dice — completely unrelated!

But for all the inconsistencies and frustrations of learning and speaking (and of course, writing!) English, it really does have some spectacularly mirificent words that have oh, so sadly, become obsolete!!

Can you imagine?? Why on earth would a spectacularly mirificent word just … vanish? Disappear? Be ignored, abandoned, rejected as though suddenly it had become some ugly little misfit??

How rude. How unfair! Oh, the sheer tragedy of it all! (she says, flinging the back of her arm across her forehead and gracefully collapsing onto a Victorian chaise longue in despair)

I mean, what about a magnificent word like “Honorificabilitudinitatibus”? How incredibly grand is that? It’s a Medieval delight that means one is in a state of being able to achieve honours.

I can’t imagine why no one uses it anymore. It’s so much fun! And seriously high class, regal kinda fun. It’s like a cross between Cyndi Lauper, “Phoebe” from Friends, then throwing in your favourite Royal Person and presto: Honorificabilitudinitatibus.

We don’t use that magnificent word anymore, yet we’ve overused “awesome” to the point that it’s completely meaningless! (Well, not I — I’ve never, ever used it in the way it is thrown around these days. Ew.). At least, most certainly, it has no longer got anything to do with something that truly inspires awe. It’s reduced to “Call ya later.” “K, awesome.”

Dear Lord. How did that even happen??! 😵‍💫🤦🏻‍♀️

You know how in fashion, something goes out of style (almost before it’s even “in”) and then eventually, it comes around again? EG I think bell bottoms have had three or four resurrections since the 1960s. How come that doesn’t happen with many fabulous words that get kicked to the curb (or to the kerb if you’re in the UK) and left there all alone? Poor, sad, rejected words. Sigh.

I think we ought to make an effort to give some super cool “obsolete” words the bell bottom treatment. Let’s resurrect some old darlings and give ’em new life! Like “smort” or “defectuosity” or “therebeforn”.