The Quickest Way to Re-Set in Stressful Moments
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What kind of day are you having? I hope it’s been a good one so far. But if it’s been less than wonderful up until now, the rest of it can be much better — if that’s what you want.
I know what it’s like to have days in which absolutely everything seems to go wrong. And it’s extra nasty when you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders, just to top it all off. But even if you can’t change your circumstances in this moment, you can change your response to them.
It is also a simple tool that you can teach children to use when they’re having anxious or upsetting moments.
Just stop. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Don’t think about all the things that went wrong, or all the miseries that are weighing you down. Right here, in this moment, just empty that stuff out of your head and think about now. Re-set your intention to have a harmonious life. Re-set your intention to be happy, to relax, to feel peaceful, no matter what might be happening in your life. Re-set your intention to focus on the positives and diminish the negatives.
If your relationship is in trouble, your job is on the line — or you don’t have one and you need one — if you’re worried about someone who is critically ill (and that “someone” might even be you), put it all out of your head just for this moment, right here, right now.
Close your eyes and listen to the sounds around you. Breathe deeply and evenly, focusing on letting all the tension drain out of your body. You can’t fix your relationship or your job right this minute. You can’t alter those Bigger Picture miseries in the next few moments. Or even by the end of the day.
But you can continually put yourself back in a calm and focused state of mind, focusing on now, this very moment, and nothing else. If you keep focusing on now, being mindful of every present moment, and only dealing with each one as it unfolds, suddenly life doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming. You will no longer feel as though you’re handling the whole mountain at once, but rather, this small step that’s right there waiting to be taken.
Imagine a huge buffet table set with loads and loads of plates and platters all filled with food. And you are a 4-year-old child standing there, expected to eat it all. Overwhelming? Absolutely. Daunting? Definitely. Impossible? Completely. Ready to give up before you begin? Most assuredly.
Be that little kid. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath and relax as you exhale. Open your eyes and look at one small plate. Then take one little piece of food off that plate and have a nibble. That is your present moment managed. Never mind the rest. The other moments will follow one at a time. They’ll take care of themselves. You don’t have to drive yourself nuts staring at that enormous buffet and wondering how on earth you’re going to get through everything on that table.
And as for all the things that go wrong in a day, that’s part of life. Let them go and start thinking about all the things that went right up until this moment. And as the rest of your day unfolds, keep focusing on what goes right.
If there are any more glitches, simply stop. Do not let yourself get bent out of shape. Enjoy taking a deep, even breath, think about all the things that are right, that are okay, that are just fine — and move on to the next moment.
If you keep focusing on what goes right and ignore or let go of what goes wrong, your day is guaranteed to improve. It’s entirely up to you.