This Is Why Stubbornness Is One of Your Best Traits

I’m a very determined woman. You could call me strong-willed; that’d work, too.

Some would just say stubborn (my mother said it a lot).

And didja ever notice that people call it “strong- willed” when they approve of what you’re doing, and “stubborn” when they don’t?

Whatever the heck you want to call it, I’ve got it.

Interestingly, I’ve also got the ability to change and adapt easily. Supposedly a Pisces trait, being a water sign and all “go-with-the-flow-y,” but whether it’s because of personality or astrology, thank heaven I’ve got both ends of the spectrum covered so I can dig in my heels when I need to do it, and I can bend when that’s the best option.

The trick has been to learn when to be “strong-willed” and not “stubborn,” and when to be adaptable and not a doormat, changing just to please everyone else.

I’ve had to learn to choose my battles carefully and believe me, I’ve done that the very hard way - which is pretty much the same way I’ve learned everything else, to be honest. Part of the problem is that I’m a woman of principle. If I believe in something, if I think something is unfair, if I hear my dad in my head saying “It’s the principle of the thing!” as he used to do, it’s really difficult for me to back down.

I suppose this is what helps me when I’m confronted with huge obstacles. When things aren’t working out as planned, I just have to keep knocking on doors. If this one doesn’t open, maybe that one will. And if not that one, then perhaps another one.

Sometimes I’ve knocked on so many unanswered doors, I’ve felt like I was in a condemned building where no one has lived for years.

So then what?

I keep knocking. Perhaps the building isn’t condemned. Perhaps there will be an answer at just one of those doors, and that’s all I need. And if I run out of doors in that building, I move on to the next one and start knocking there.

I mean, what else am I gonna do? Sit there on the street and do nothing? That sure as heck won’t open any doors for me.

So I might as well keep knocking. At least that way, there’s a chance of getting an answer.

Giving up is not an option.

Not ever. Switch hands when your knuckles get sore. Grab an object to do the knocking for you when both sets of knuckles are bleeding and raw. But keep knocking.

Is that being strong-willed? Stubborn? Determined?

I don’t know. Perhaps.

Or maybe it’s just understanding that if we really want to change our situations, we have to do something. It doesn’t work if you just sit there and wish.

Sometimes busting your backside doesn’t work either. But then at least you can say you gave it your best shot and you won’t spend the rest of your life wondering, “What would have happened if...”

If it’s worth wanting, it’s worth the effort. If you’re not willing to put in the effort, then stop wanting it. Whether it’s complaining about your job or your relationship or your lack of physical fitness or your bad habits or your garden that’s way too full of weeds or that book you said you’d write or 14,000,000 other things that you keep talking about fixing or changing, do it.

Keep knocking on doors till you get the answer that works, till you find the solution, till the opportunity is the right one.

It’s a lot easier to do that, than it is to stop wanting what you really want.

Spiritual Arts Mentor and Master Teacher, Liberty Forrest, guides you in discovering who you are, why you’re here, and how to follow that path.