Reduce Stress And Feel Better In 5 Minutes A Day

(Photo courtesy of Zigmars Berzins at Pixabay.com)

Recently, a few friends have been telling me about how insanely busy they are. They say, “I have no ‘me time’ at all!”

They’re exhausted. Fed up with responsibilities, everyone and everything else comes first and needs their attention.

Well, the truth is, no matter who you are, if everyone and everything else is coming first in your life, it’s only because you are allowing it.

You don’t just “find time” for yourself. You have to create it.

Of course, certain obligations must be met that mean you have to be here or go there or do something in particular at certain times. But there’s a difference between those (e.g. being sure children get to school on time, or you show up to your job etc.) and how you fill your other hours (e.g. evenings and weekends).

I spent a lot of years being a single parent. During part of that time, I had five children. I was also juggling five part-time jobs and dealing with a serious illness. There are also various other personal issues that placed exhausting demands on my time and energy.

So I understand “busy.”

Despite all of that, I always made time for myself. You don’t have to take a lot of minutes for yourself every day to make a big difference in your life, which is exactly what I said to my busy friends.

They seemed doubtful at best.

So I told them about one of my favourite mini-meditations. It doesn’t take much time (but it can, if you want!) and works best when done as soon as you get up each day, as with meditation in general.

You can get up a few minutes earlier — 15 would be nice, but even 5–10 would be better than none.

Now don’t tell me you can’t manage 5–10 minutes each day for yourself. I’m just not buying it. You can. If you won’t, well, now, that’s another story.

So — get up a few minutes earlier.

Yes, even if you’re already getting up at 5.00 or 5.30. I’ve been sleep-deprived my entire adult life and guess what? I’m still breathing. Some things are just worth it.

I used to get up at 5.00 every day, even on weekends, just so I could have some much-needed “soul-food time” before my children got up. Every morning, I spent nearly two hours on yoga, meditation, and casting a sacred circle for spiritual contemplation.

(Photo courtesy of Nico H at Pixabay.com)

After a short time, I could see what a massive difference it made to my life. The benefits far outweighed losing a bit of sleep. I compromised by going to bed a little earlier. That was a blessing, too.

Anyway, I’m not suggesting you have to spend two hours every morning doing yoga and meditation (although if you can, you might want to give it a try!).

What I am going to tell you is what I suggested to my busy friends, who were no busier than I.

It’s a simple and lovely little thing called a candle meditation.

As soon as you climb out of bed and are still in that lovely half-awake state, find your way to a darkened room if possible. Set a timer for 5 minutes (and do not look at it till it goes off). This is to prevent you from being distracted by the time and worrying about getting to work or diving into your day.

Light a candle.

Even a tealight will do. Sit quietly and look at the flame.

Do not allow yourself to think of anything else. When other thoughts wander into your mind, let them go and refocus your attention on the flame.

Enjoy how beautiful it is, how gentle, how peaceful its movements are, softly flickering, dancing…It moves with the air.

Focus on taking slow, deep, even breaths and nothing else. Think “stillness” as you try to keep the flame from moving. Try to control your breath so it causes as little air movement and flame-flickering as possible.

Notice the colours of the flame; watch what it does, see how it moves. Notice how the edges of the candle change shape as the wax slowly melts.

Just don’t sit there stewing about your problems and worries.

If you find your mind wandering to anything other than the candle, simply let go of the thought and refocus your attention on that flame. Do not berate yourself; that is counterproductive.

(Photo courtesy of StockSnap at Pixabay.com)

Add a dose of gratitude.

When your timer goes off, give yourself a few moments for gratitude. Think of the blessings in your life. Especially if life is challenging right now. There are always plenty of positives, even if you have to dig around a little to remember them.

Feel how deeply grateful you are for each one.

Do this candle meditation every morning for a couple of weeks. Or do it before you go to bed but do it consistently; give it a real chance. Don’t tell me you haven’t got time.

If you think you’re unable to give yourself 5 or 10 minutes a day, you’re making far too many excuses to sabotage your own life and happiness. If you’re so important that you have to get all that other “stuff” done, then you’re important enough to take care of yourself.

So get up (or get ready for bed) a little early. Sit quietly and watch the flame of a candle for a few minutes. You’ll enjoy it. You’ll feel much better for it. You’ll begin to look forward to it.

Soon you’ll want more of this, or some other “me time” to journal, to read, to do 5–10 mins of yoga or Tai Chi — whatever.

You’ll miss it if you skip a day. So don’t.

No more excuses.

Spiritual Arts Mentor and Master Teacher, Liberty Forrest, guides you in discovering who you are, why you’re here, and how to follow that path.