A Reading: A Spirit Gives His Husband Permission to Move Forward
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At the beginning of every session, I always asked clients not to give me any information during the reading, other than to answer my questions with, “Yes,” “No,” or “I don’t know,” and if I asked a question that required anything more, I wanted only the briefest answer possible.
Not only did this help me offer a clean reading, it removed any speculation that I was merely feeding back what I’d already been told, or that I was making educated guesses.
In other words, it removed the possibility that I was a fraud.
I knew nothing when the sessions started, other than who it was they hoped would come through or what they hoped to achieve from our time together.
In the interests of brevity, what is written below is a condensed version of the reading.
LB is on the other side of our Zoom chat. Mid-40s, salt and pepper hair, handsome and well groomed, he is hoping to connect with his husband, DN. He has a kind face but looks desperately sad. It’s only been about 6 months since DN returned to spirit.
I tune in to see if anyone will come through.
“I’ve got a male energy here, and the first thing I notice is a big, wide smile.”
“Mm-hm.”
“He has a softer energy than you. I mean, I sense that you’re quite efficient, organised, perhaps a bit of a Type A in some ways while he’s more relaxed, playful, easygoing. He doesn’t mind letting things slide. Does this make sense to you?”
“Bang on.”
“Okay. Thank you. It seems that drove you a bit nuts, him letting things slide.”
He chuckles and nods.
“I don’t know if he actually was younger than you, but he would have seemed that way. Like, you were the more responsible adult type compared to him.”
“That’s right.”
“He’s showing me his stomach, upper stomach area, and there’s a lot of pain. It started in the lower stomach, abdomen area and radiates up and also to the right.”
“Yes.”
“This is related to how he passes, but it’s slow. It’s slow at first. Feels like cancer and it grows slowly, or he has several bouts with it, maybe they get rid of it and it keeps coming back or they reduce it, but we’re talking about a long battle here. Like, years.”
“Yes.”
“And then all of a sudden, it speeds up. It spreads and he’s gone. This upper stomach area really hurts. Like maybe pancreas, liver? That area?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I’d say we’ve got your husband here.” I ask DN to please take the pain from me, which he does.
“He’s telling me that it got really ugly at the end. He’s sorry that you had to see that.”
“I didn’t mind.”
“Please don’t tell me anything.”
“Sorry.”
“He knows you didn’t mind but that’s not what bothers him. He wants you to know he understands how hard it was for you, that it pained you to see him suffering so much. He knows you cried about it a lot in private.”
“Mm-hm.”
“He tells me how very sensitive you are, in spite of being Mr. Businessman, as he calls you.”
He chuckles. “Yes, he used to call me that. And yeah, I am. Sensitive, I mean.”
“He sees that you still cry a lot and he knows how much you miss him. He hears you say that to him all the time.”
“He does?”
“Mm-hm. He’s always with you but you’re not always aware. Those times you think you feel him close by, you’re not imagining it.”
“Oh, thank God!” I can see he’s choking back a lot of emotion.
“He fought so hard and for so long and really didn’t want to go. He didn’t feel ready. He’s saying, ‘I was too young!’ and he tried so hard to stay.”
“He sure did.”
“He says it had a lot to do with you. He didn’t want to leave you alone because he knows how much you love him. He says, ‘Even though I drove you crazy sometimes!’ He’s giving me a feeling of you being exasperated with him a lot, not really angry, more like exasperated or frustrated.”
He nods slightly.
“He’s giving me a sense of all the fun you used to have, way before he was sick. He wanted those days again. He wanted to give you those days, too, so he fought to make it happen. He wanted so badly to be well again.”
“Mm-hm.” His eyes are filling with tears.
“He’s thanking you. He wants me to thank you for giving him permission. You told him it was okay to go. You told him he could stop fighting.”
A little nod.
“He knows how hard that was for you, but it was exactly what he needed. That’s what allowed him to let go and surrender to the inevitable so he could go in peace. He says it allowed him to stop fighting and you could see it right away. He wasn’t struggling anymore.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
“He’s thanking you for having given him permission. He would have continued to fight otherwise, and it would have just prolonged his pain. And he’s talking about a big adventure you didn’t get to have. Something you’d been planning for years, but his illness got in the way?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“He’s telling me you’ve been thinking about it again but you don’t feel right about it. Like you shouldn’t go without him. Does this make sense to you?”
“Absolutely.”
“Okay, well, whatever this adventure is, he wants you to do it. He says, ‘I’ll still be with you! Let’s go!’ He says it makes no sense for you not to do it because he isn’t here. He’s saying something about it being your thing more than his, or something that’s more about you. Do you understand this?”
“I do. Yes.”
“He says he held you back long enough for all those years he was sick. He says to stop feeling guilty about it. Just go. Do it. He says, ‘If you don’t do it, I’ll never get to go!’ and he’s saying it playfully, with a smile.”
“Yeah, that would be him.”
“He’s adding that he still loves you. Actually, he says he loves you to the moon.”
“He always said that.” A few tears trickle down his face.
“He wants you to promise you’ll go. You’ll do this big adventure and he’ll enjoy watching you make that dream come true. Will you do it?”
“Yes. I will.” He nods.
“He says if you don’t, he’ll haunt you forever. And he’s laughing.” I’m grinning.
He chuckles. “Yeah, he used to use that as a silly threat all the time. If I didn’t bring him his favourite ice cream or do some other thing he wanted, he’d threaten to haunt me after he died.”
“Well, he’s insisting that I extract a promise from you, and one that you will keep. Will you do whatever this is he’s talking about?”
“Absolutely. Yes. I promise. I don’t need to be haunted forever!” he laughs.
***
In finishing our session, LB said he was relieved to know he had done the right thing in giving DN permission to go. He was also grateful to know that DN is still with him, and that he could stop feeling guilty about the “big adventure.” The reason DN said it was more about LB than about himself is that LB wanted to go to Spain, where his parents were born. His dream had been to live there someday and he and DN had been contemplating it for a long time.
As a post-script to this reading, LB did ultimately move to Spain, where he still lives today. He has also travelled extensively through Italy and France, always with DN’s urn buckled into the seat next to him. ❤️
I no longer do traditional readings, but during my guidance sessions, I am often given messages to pass along, which is always a special treat.
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