The Truth About Whether Others Believe in You

Have you ever had a fabulous idea about something you wanted to do? You’re so excited; it lights you up and you can’t wait to share the exciting news. You tell someone whom you think will appreciate it and be excited right along with you. 

The response: a doubtful expression accompanied by “Hmmm…I don’t know about that.” Or you got a list of reasons why it wouldn’t work, shouldn’t work, or might not work.

Perhaps you’ve told someone excitedly about an achievement, something you were thrilled to have accomplished, only to have that person shoot it down with the ways in which it could have been better. 

I’ll bet you know how it is to feel your shoulders droop, your face fall, and your heart sink as every one of those negative words drags your spirit into a dark and murky place. 

Many years ago, my (now former) husband told me about an incident when he was a young boy. He couldn’t believe he got 98% on a difficult exam. He tore home after school, so excited to show his mother this incredible grade. She looked at him and said, “Where’s the other 2%?”

All those years later, I could see the pain and discouragement etched in his face. I wanted so desperately to heal those wounds and help him erase that pain. I had been living “up close and personal” with the damage that such comments had inflicted on his soul. It didn’t take long for it be inflicted on me, too, which ultimately destroyed our marriage. 

All of us have been disappointed by the words of people in our lives. All of us know what it’s like to want family and friends to believe in us, to encourage us, and to support us. We want them to be excited for us when we’re setting out on an adventure, trying something new, or being brave and pursuing our wildest dreams.

Yet we forget that those people have the same kinds of wounds that we have. Sometimes, those wounds make them say things that we were not expecting and didn’t particularly enjoy. Those people are unable to see our accomplishments or our potential because they can’t see their own. 

All they can see are their own failures and pessimism because that’s what’s been pointed out to them or it’s been their life experience — or both.

Often, we put a lot of emphasis on needing and wanting the support and encouragement of our friends and family. We want them to believe in us. But we forget one very important point. 

We don’t believe in ourselves.

It’s bad enough when someone else wants to rain on your parade, but when you do it to yourself, that’s a big problem. As much as you might want the approval, acceptance or support of other people, you have no control over what they’ll say to you about anything you might choose to do. You can never be sure when their own demons won’t pop up and smack you in the face.

And because you’re already struggling to believe in yourself, you believe those demons instead.

If you look to others to improve your self-belief, you’re asking for trouble. You can’t believe in yourself — or not — because of what anyone else says or does. It’s always your own choice. 

Even if absolutely everyone around you is blowing off an idea you’ve got, you’ve still got the ability to believe in it, and to believe in yourself. No one can take that away from you — unless you hand it over on a silver platter.

The bottom line is this: How can you expect anyone else to believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself?

Spiritual Arts Mentor and Master Teacher, Liberty Forrest, guides you in discovering who you are, why you’re here, and how to follow that path.

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