Navigating Challenging Inner Shifts and Turning Points
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“The turning point in the lives of those who succeed usually comes at the moment of some crisis, through which they are introduced to their other selves.” — Napoleon Hill
Today’s theme is about turning points. It’s about those transitions that we don’t necessarily see externally but we’re well aware that something is shifting inside ourselves.
Sometimes, there’s an obvious event or set of circumstances that precipitates the shift. Other times, it’ll sneak up on you, a subtle intruder tiptoeing through the quietest corners of your mind until it trips, knocks into a little side table and sends a favourite lamp crashing to the floor.
All you’ve got left are broken bits of lamp. Without it, it’s pretty dark up there. And you’ve gotta try to find your way through it. Now what??
Well, that’s what we’re going to talk about today.
I was chatting with someone on Medium recently who is undergoing some significant shifts. This process was causing a lot of doubt, questions and confusion. And who can’t relate to that?
I suggested that she was at a turning point, a time of transformation, and along with a few others I know who are in the same boat (including myself), I thought it was a timely topic — especially with a new calendar year nudging some people to consider the notion of making big changes.
A turning point isn’t always a happy event; it can bring up old wounds and upsetting events or feelings of regret and a whole mess of “if onlys.” Those bloody “if onlys” … they are the source of so much pain and misery.
And they certainly won’t help you shift into any sort of forward motion. Nope. They’ll keep you stuck in the past, chewing on how much they hurt.
There was certainly that temptation with the life-changing injury I sustained in Nov. 2022. I could have gone down the “if only” road, regretting the events that led to the injury but I didn’t. That might be because foolishly, I figured it would only be a few months at most and I’d have my life back, along with the full use of my leg and the ability to walk again.
Ouch. I’m not sure if that thought makes me want to laugh or cry.
So I push it away, take a deep breath, and even if I can’t see where this road will take me or how long I might be on it, I focus on how far I’ve come.
And I can’t help but notice how quietly this road has been changing me.
For some time now, I’ve felt like I’m in the midst of a slower-than-a-snail-paced turning point. If it was something I could actually see, it would be like going through one of those fabulously interesting (to me, anyway) revolving doors, but instead of it taking seconds, I entered on one side and a lo-o-o-o-o-ong time later, I still haven’t come out the other side.
And it’s about more than my ongoing journey toward being able to walk and eventually get my life back at some point. It began a few years prior to my injury due to several deeply distressing circumstances over which I had little or no control. Thankfully, my life is much more settled now and I’m blessed to be able to focus on my healing.
But all of it has changed me — is still changing me. It’s made me question everything. It’s made me reassess my beliefs. It’s made me contemplate the bigger picture and consider why certain things happen — or don’t. It’s made me re-evaluate choices, destiny, fate, and whether or not there is such as thing as “meant to be.”
It’s not like this is the first time I’ve been pushed to the point of questioning, doubting, examining and re-evaluating. Often, it was precipitated by major unpleasant events. Sometimes by more private crises of faith, or those dark nights of the soul.
In earlier years, that place of questioning and transition was frightening. I’d worked so hard to get to know myself after childhood training forced me to keep my thoughts and feelings so hidden, even I was unaware of them, and having barely said “Hello,” I was being challenged to replace them. My identity was at stake with memories and feelings and new information, new ideas as the world opened up to me — as I opened up to myself.
My inner world was completely shaken. Meanwhile, I hadn’t yet learned any of the necessary tools to help me navigate those rough waters. 🤦🏻♀️
But I can promise you … there are lots of tools available if you’re in the midst of uncomfortable, confusing, or distressing periods of transition or transformation, whether in your beliefs, your desires, your feelings, what’s important to you — anything that upsets your inner world.
Everyone faces turning points. It’s especially common amongst those of us who are deeply spiritual and/or sensitive souls who want to create better lives, to heal our wounds, to find happiness and a sense of purpose. You might start to feel as though you’ve lost your anchor or your compass, whatever holds you steady or keeps you on course.
I’ve been going through that myself for quite a while now. Most of the time, I can sit with it and trust that as I keep healing, I’ll get more than just glimpses of who I used to be. I have to believe that at some point, I’ll get my life back. 🤞
And at other times, especially on the days when I’m challenged with painful or uncomfortable symptoms, when I’m so utterly exhausted I can hardly see straight, I’m frustrated. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m fed up with not recognising myself and bloody hell, I just want to be the person I used to be!
But I haven’t allowed myself to consider — or rather, to accept — that I’m not that person anymore. The events of the past few years have taken a toll and now it’s my job to turn them into gold.
Just what that’ll look like, I couldn’t say. I have visions of the girl in “Rumpelstiltskin” who is locked in a tower and has to spin straw into gold. The trouble is, she has no clue how to do it but if she doesn’t figure it out, she’ll be executed. Okay, I don’t expect to be executed, but let’s just say I can appreciate how she felt.
I might not know how to turn that straw into gold right now, but I guess I’ll figure it out when I get there.
And so it is the same for you.
If you’re in the midst of walking through that revolving door, whether suddenly and unexpectedly, or if you’re over here in the super slow lane with me, don’t worry about who you’ll be or how you’ll be different when you come out the other side.
View this period of transition as an opportunity to explore hidden aspects of yourself. For a totally different take on self-awareness, meditate and discover the art of observing. Welcome lots of different beliefs and ideas. Try them on for a while; see how they feel. Eventually, you’ll find the ones that fit.
There’s no need to panic. No need to be afraid. I know, the unknown isn’t always particularly appealing. At the end of the day, you’ve got to trust yourself, to remember that at your core, the essence of who you are, because of — or in spite of — any and all circumstances, is the same as ever. You might change how you express yourself based on shifting beliefs and expanding ideas, but that’s okay. You’ll figure it out. Absolutely.
In the meantime, I’m right here with you, not always enjoying this journey of “Who the hell am I after all that’s happened?” and you probably aren’t either. But I’m on it with you, nonetheless, doing my best to spin straw so I can find the gold and have my freedom again.
We’ll get there.
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